There has been a lot of noise about single sisters. A lot of noise from a lot of people, sisters included, and I’m wondering why we keep talking about it. What purpose is it serving to talk it to death? We seem to keep up the discussion without making any significant progress. I was at the talk with Sherry Shepard, Steve Harvey, Jacquie Reid, and Hill Harper. When I tell you the line was wrapped around the corner with sisters trying to hear about why so many of us are single, I MEAN it. I was thinking it was going to be a quaint, engaging discussion, but it was just outrageous. I arrived in good time: 30 minutes before it was scheduled to begin, and I still ended up sitting in the overflow’s overflow. Over 600 women there to hear about ourselves…but did anyone do anything different after?
So, after some discussion with my love and a few of his friends, I decided to write a little about why I’m not single. This isn’t written to suggest that women should do exactly as I am/have done. It’s just a little bit of what I do that seems to work. None of these include superficial things, because unless you’re willing to alter your looks all the time or permanently, you can’t change that. This is a list of some of the things I naturally am, or have learned, that have led to me being in a committed, loving relationship. You can try it at your own risk. I’ll start with a list, and then talk about a few per entry.
I Love Myself
I Forgive
I Flirt
I Feel
I Tell the Truth
I Compromise
I Respect Men
I Give it My All Everytime
I Know What I Like/Want/Need
I Have Fun
I Have a Life
I am Flexible
I Listen
I Talk
My List Doesn’t Include Looks
I Expect Good Things
This list is not comprehensive, and I may add things as I think of them. Expect in coming weeks for me to talk more about each and how I think they work for me. And hey, sometimes you just need to be single. Enjoy the freedom that comes with it, and the opportunity to do you in every way, and to grow into the best woman you can be. Talk to you later girl.
Candice,
I think your list is AWESOME and essential foundation to any successful committed relationship. I’ve been in relationship with my college sweetheart going on 6 yrs. Like any couple we’ve had our great moments and our ” what the heck is your problem” moments… it’s all apart of growing in yourself and in your relationship. I believe I’m not single because of many of the attributes you already listed – I’ve learned to love and appreciate myself, I don’t seek to be in a relationship for validation but for companionship. I have life outside the relationship and know how to effectively maintain other relationships (professional and other personal) outside of the romantic relationship. I am honest and I don’t expect anything for him I don’t expect of myself. I communicate and I listen (eventhough hands down he is the better listener of the two. I’m still working on improving.) Like you, I know what I will tolerate and what I won’t and I make that plain. Even though I’m not a fan of Steve Harvey’s book… one chapter title was on point and I think is the best summation for my comment… ” Men like standards.. get some.”